8 Ways to ruin a relationship

(Didn't write these my self, just translated in to English.)


1. Taking your partner for granted


Relationship problems grow fast
if you assume that your partner will always be there for you,
even if you don't give anything back.
You should never relate your partner to a furniture or robot,
that will do everything you want without complaining
and without your appreciation.
Notice your partner and what he/she has done for you,
thank him/her, be polite and notice him/her.
Think about how you treat your guests, why would you treat him/her worse?


2. Stop talking


Remember how your relationship started? You probably talked for hours!
Time goes on and you forget the talking.
The relationship is in real danger when you stop talking to each other.
It's not the normal chit chat, but the deeper conversations,
where you learned to know each other in the beginning of the relationship.
Don't forget the real conversations.
And it's not about the kids, work, days news or the weather.


3. Stop showing your feelings


When the relationship gets steady, talking about your feelings decreases.
You don't express your love with words anymore,
you might not even express anger anymore.
Usually big feelings disappear and leaves only everyday, sexless thoughts.
Even if these tired thoughts might seem unnecessary
to share with your partner, try it anyway.
The biggest passion usually fade in a long relationship,
but feeling the feelings and talking about them is always important.


4. Stop listening


Everybody wants to be heard, so your relationship is in deep danger
if you don't wanna hear what your partner has to say to you anymore.
Not listening usually means loss of respect and carelessness.
Also remember that listening means really listening actively.
Only hearing your partners voice is not the same as listening.


5. Forgetting to be fun


Why do we get together with someone?
We might have common values, religion, interests, physical attraction..
But most of all, we choose a partner
that we enjoy being with and have fun with.
You shouldn't forget the fun, because it's your relationships resource.
What did you enjoy together before? Try to find humor in life again,
laugh, do things together again.


6. Nagging


Continuing nagging in a tedious tone is very bad for the relationship.
If you intervene in everything you think your partner is doing wrong,
your choosing the wrong way.
Nobody wants to get judged and constantly guided.
Your ways, as also your partners ways, are not always the right ones.
You can clean, make food and take care of the kids
in so many different ways, which might all work.
Give your partner a chance to be him/her self.


7. Threatening


Threatening doesn't belong in a healthy, good relationship.
You shouldn't threat divorce/break up, telling your partners parents, leaving
or anything else. Threatening is usually a sign of desperation
and that things have gone out of your control.
Threatening is like a last try to make the partner do as you want.
Threatening doesn't take the relationship forward, but usually hurts both.


8. Ignoring your partner


Hating someone is not even worse than ignoring completely.
Ignoring without any feelings is a sign that your partner
just doesn't mean anything anymore to you, not even as much as hating.
You didn't get in to a relationship to get put a side, did you?
If you stop caring about your partner for more than two days,
your relationship is in trouble.
You should always care about your partner enough
to even solve your problems together.


~ Love, Nina ♥